Suzanne's Column
December, 1999
Gifts
Last week I joined the crowds at the shopping mall, and veered off into one of the Science stores, admittedly one of my favorites. As I walked in, I heard a father tell his friend, "...I won't find anything for Emily in here. She stinks at science."
How sad, I thought. He probably believes it. And Emily probably believes it too.
I hear the variant - "I stink at math" - often. It's always wrong.
If by that the speaker means they don't like math or science, that may be true enough. There are plenty of reasons not to like these subjects. They're tough, abstract, demanding, exacting. But what folks usually mean is that they're sure they - or their children - are not good at it.
Aptitudes come in a variety of packages. The aptitudes that enable a student to quickly shine in school mathematics are only a few of the aptitudes . If a student is lucky enough to possess these gifts, she might feel really "good," at math, for a while. If she possesses different aptitudes, she might be unaware of them, and even worse, be convinced that she 'stinks' in the subject.
As you know from these pages, we never lie about math's toughness. When your child encounters this toughness, let her know that the toughness isn't a reflection of her aptitudes, but on the contrary, a sign that she's in the "good stuff." Help her dispell the myth that the toughness is a sign that she "stinks" at math. Help her find her gifts. They're there.
Is she inquisitive? Stubborn? Dreamy? Steady and thorough, rather than flashy and quick? These are all mathematical gifts. Reading stories from the history of math will show you that these very traits led to some terrific discoveries and developments in our subject.
In the coming months we will be showing you many ways to help you discover your children's mathematical gifts. As you watch your children now, reconsider your assessment of their aptitudes and gifts. Take them into math and science museums, and stores, and books. Help them find things that interest them, or excite them, or get them wondering. Watch them at work, or play, and help them discover more about how their minds work, and like to work. Read them stories of the great ones in these subjects, as you might read them stories of great athletes or great explorers or great patriots. They might discover they are far more similar, and far more "gifted," than they realized.
The dad who wandered into the science store might have sent a very different message to his daughter. He might have sent her a message that she was exactly as gifted as she needs to be. That she "belongs" in these subjects as much as the whiz kid sitting next to her. That her curiosity or thoroughness or stubborness are gifts too. That those stores are filled with things that might interest and excite her, on her own terms, in her own way. That math and science are vast enough to have corners for all of us to find gifts, and bring gifts.
Happy Holidays to all of you. Gifts all around.
